Sex Warms You Up ::DeiTobi smut::
by Tobi the Hubcap Thief
Summary: It's chilly at Akatsuki headquarters. Deidara is friskier when it's cold. DeiTobi, TobiDei, Deidara x Tobi, TobixDeidara/DeidaraxTobi smut. Rated M for sexual content, which is most certainly present. One-Shot. Enjoy !


Judging by the feeble rays of sunshine that dared to creep through the linen drapes, Deidara guessed that it was barely four in the morning. The small screen of fragmented light played dimly upon his bed, spattering his bedspread with a pattern of dappled designs. He traced their outlines, waiting for another hour to pass. The curtains were double-layered, an investment even Kakuzu had not declined, for they kept nearly all light from seeping through. As a result of this, what had managed to slip through the paper-thin gap now cast the shared room in an early morning gray. Deidara had woken up earlier than usual this morning-far earlier than he'd have preferred-and was unable to drift asleep again thereafter. He lay on his stomach, hair knocked loose from his usual ponytail as a result of a restless night's sleep. Some of the golden-streaked locks rested in his face, antagonizing his OCD complex and tickling his nose. He tried not to think about it too much, for if he attempted to think, he knew he'd never go back to sleep. Now, he lay there edgily and listened to the rhythmic ticking courtesy of the wall clock above his work bench.  
He could not remember being woken by anything in particular, but in his current mood, what he really wanted was something—or some_one_ to blame. And at that moment, his wish was granted.

_WHUMP_, came the sweet, oh-so-familiar thud of his partner colliding with the wooden floor paneling, followed by a muffled groan. It was a sound just loud enough to testify as the "cause" of the blonde's current insomnia. Here lie someone on which to pin the blame. But before he opened his mouth to speak, his partner swiftly beat him to the punch.

"Sorry if I woke you, sempai. I'm not used to sleeping on…well, I'm just not used to sleeping in general," came Tobi's mumbled apology. Deidara's jaw clicked in reply. Tobi had been recruited after a special 2-week mission assigned to Zetsu, in which he had been requested to retrieve a scroll with information regarding the jinchuuriki hosts. Two weeks later, he returned empty-handed but for the masked man he'd met along the way, when he had tripped over Tobi's sleeping body. Up until recently, the masked nin had slept on the ground or in abandoned buildings; he claimed that he was hiding, in fear of an impending outbreak of war against the nations. Pein, knowing all too well that Tobi's predictions were in no way far from the truth, had allowed him to stay in place of Sasori's loss. Thus began Deidara's ulcerous experiences with said masked nin. To understand his grievances, one must know that after Sasori's death, while the tragedy had saddened him, Deidara had grown accustomed to having his own room-his own personal bubble, so to speak. To say that Tobi's arrival was unwelcome in his mind was a bit of a stretch, but he wasn't exactly embracing the idea, either. Certain quirks in his new comrade's demeanor did little to help the situation. Unlike Sasori, Tobi was loud, and often did not realize when he was. So Diedara had taken these qualities into consideration, now turning to him as an explanation for his moodiness.

Deidara went about his business, listening as his roommate clambered back into bed. No more than ten minutes later, soft, muffled snores indicated that he was asleep. Somewhat less satisfied than he had been those same ten minutes ago, Deidara rolled over to face the wall, and let his mind wander for three more hours before finally giving up and heading downstairs for breakfast.

_7:00 PM_

It was unusually dark even at this hour because of the rain that had been drenching the earth previously throughout the day. dark grey clouds slowly receded beyond the horizon or dispersed in what little sunshine that shone through them. The sky had been dull and dreary for much of the earlier hours, with the sun's rays giving off an unnatural gleam through the haze, but the clouds had grown heavy with rain and finally split at the seams, drowning the surrounding villages in two inches of cold floodwater. The Akatsuki headquarters, hidden at the crest of a hill, fared considerably well due to their elevation, but suffered leaks throughout the living quarters and hallway. Deidara now presumed that thunder had been the cause of his abrupt awakening the night before, an early symptom of the impending storm.

At the current hour, the leaks had subsided, but the occasional drop was to be expected, and this left members such as Hidan to end up sleeping on the couch as a result of beds soaked with rainwater. Luckily for Deidara, the leaks had not been prevalent in his shared quarters, and the only indication of the recent storm was achingly cold floors, which felt icy to the touch, as to be expected as a result of the cold front they'd experienced. Because it was midway through winter, the storm had left a chill in the air. Their quarters were otherwise unaffected, and Deidara turned in early for the night. His lack of sleep from the previous night and the soothing ambiance of the storm had left him exhausted, and susceptible to the effects of the chilly air. Normally, they _would_ have turned on the heater, but it had suffered water damage as it was located in an attic-like portion of the headquarters, presumably where the leaks had first prevailed.  
However, exhausted though he was, Deidara once again could not fall asleep. He faced the wall again, immersed in complete darkness but for the moon's resounding luminescence which filtered through the same gap as the sunlight, but shone not on the bedspread, but the wall instead. Perhaps the wind had snapped the tree branches that had formed the previous pattern, allowing more light to filter through. Whether it was this that kept him awake, or the fact that it was freezing in this room, Deidara could not say for sure, but even in the dim light provided by the moon, his every breath shone in small wisps of frozen air.

He was wide awake when Tobi came in, but did not leave any sign that he was. He remained silent, listening as his comrade's footsteps agitated the hardwood, which creaked in protest-more so now that is was cold-every time he took a step. Deidara could sense him flinch every time. Whereas the creaking would normally have gotten him reprimanded, Deidara let it go this time, knowing that Tobi was doing his best to keep quiet. The creaking stopped as he scrambled into bed and curled up beneath the covers. From his position on the other side of the room, he could sense that Tobi, too, was feeling the effects of the cold atmosphere-he was being too still. The cold had that effect on people, where one did not desire to move about because it was too cold to do so; tonight, Tobi's usual fidgeting was at a standstill. The silence in the room was almost unnerving, and Deidara found himself to be the one fidgeting this time, albeit quietly. Throughout it all, he desperately made the effort to sleep, but with results similar to those of the previous night. So he lay there and literally attempted to decide whether or not the chicken came before the egg. Astoundingly, he had made no progress in two hours' time.  
But then came that tell-tale sound again…

_WHUMP, grumble, profanity, grumble_, as Tobi collided, almost magnetically, with the ground. Deidara resisted the insatiable urge to roll his eyes. A few more profanities later, Tobi worked his way off the floor and-presumably-back into bed. But it soon became clear that that was _not_ what he was doing. There was a lot of shuffling, and the padding of feet on the ground suggested that he was moving in one place, as if shifting position for some purpose. There was a "shiffing" sound that Deidara recognized as the blankets. Then just as Deidara was about to complain, it was quiet again. Curiously, the blonde man propped himself up on his elbow and glanced in the direction of his partner's bed, which was…empty. The masked man in question currently resided on the floor, bundled in a mass of blankets and pillows. Deidara blinked, eyebrow raised questioningly.

"So I take it you've given up on sleeping in a bed, then?" he inquired in a flatly patronizing tone. This response came in the form of a sleepy grumble. In spite of himself, Deidara allowed himself a small chuckle. Wouldn't you know it, even Tobi didn't like rude awakenings!

"But in any case," Deidara said, forcing back an intrusive yawn, "either way, you're screwing yourself over, right? Sleep on the floor and you'll freeze your ass off; sleep on the bed, and you'll just end up on the floor anyway."

"That's helpful," came Tobi's vague reply. He shifted so that his head was covered in pillows.

"I'll bet it is." For this, he did not receive a reply. Deidara pursed his lips thoughtfully, shivering slightly even under his blanket. It was still cold in this room, even bundled up like they were, and the air grew chillier as the sky outside darkened. In these conditions, Deidara's temper was slightly more bearable than usual.  
"So…if anything, the best solution here is to double up; that is to say, if you slept on the side closest to the wall and I was on your other side, you wouldn't be able to fall off. Then, if we doubled up our blankets, that combined with our shared body heat should keep us both warm—just for tonight, of course. "  
There was an awkward silence after this that lasted for a few seconds or more, and then more shuffling as Tobi attempted to disentangle himself from the blankets. He sat up abruptly, and Deidara smirked at the masked man's expression, illuminated by the thin bars of moonlight that escaped the drapes' fabric. The moonlight made his skin seem all the more pallid, and added an almost comical enhancement to the expression on his face….wait…_his face_!! Deidara retained an astonished gasp and took another moment to analyze his face again. He realized that the pale skin had been familiar to him only because of Hidan and Itachi's appearances, their skin appearing to hold no pigment at all. But Tobi's skin had a more ashen appearance, especially in this light. Deidara presumed his normal skin color was a very light olive complexion, a shade or two darker than that of Itachi's and far darker than that of Hidan's. In the dark, his pale skin greatly accented his much darker hair. Deidara himself held bright features, his hair cascading in ringlets of golden and ashen blonde, his face just the right peach in order to make it come together. His eyes were blue, the essence of purity, and at the very edge of his irises the color deepened, and his gaze was bottomless. You could get lost in his stare.  
Deidara could not see Tobi's eyes, and for some reason this troubled him. The shadows of the night hid such smaller features from view.

"'Kay then, 's long as senpai doesn't snore or anything…" Tobi finally replied.  
"E-excuse me?! Who are you to complain! You snore all the time; you sound like an asphyxiating dolphin! Besides, I'm offering you a place to sleep. 'As long as Senpai doesn't snore'…good grief." Deidara huffed, cheeks burning with resentment.

Tobi shrugged casually, gathered his belongings, and padded over to Deidara's bed. Deidara, still a bit miffed at Tobi's remark, reluctantly allowed him to scoot into bed beside him. Readjusting his position so that Tobi now faced the wall, Deidara huddled into the curve of Tobi's back. Tobi's height dwarfed Deidara's in comparison, he realized with displeasure. _Damned gargantuan swirl pop,_ he grumbled inwardly, still trying to steal some of Tobi's body heat. Consequently, his actions did not go unnoticed.

"If you're really that cold, I know a really great way to warm you up." His partner suggested mildly. His voice was far too sickly sweet, even for him.

"Is that so?" Deidara asked, only vaguely intuitive as to what would happen next.

"Well back where I come from, it snows a lot, so to warm up, everyone has sex. Often." Tobi replied, back still turned to Deidara, whom had been momentarily stunned into silence.

"…Are you serious? Is that really true?"

"No, not really. The coldest place I've ever been is Mizukagure, and that was in the winter. But I know for a fact that sex _does_ warm you up, though. Here, I'll show you," he replied.

Now Deidara had only obscurely predicted that something of this nature would occur, and in doing so, had subconsciously prepared for the occasion. If they were going to do this, they were going to do it _his way_. As soon as he sensed Tobi hovering over him, he turned the tables, flipping both of them over so that he topped instead. He refused to be subordinate.  
He ignored Tobi's expression of shock; had he really expected him to be _that_ easy of a catch? He'd spent years of experience being overpowered by Sasori, only to now be faced with a complete pushover. Like hell was he going to let a chance like this go to waste.

"You wanna play hardball? Fine, by all means, let's. But I'm topping, and there's no room for argument there. We'll do this my way unless I state otherwise, understood?"

Deidara did not wait for a reply. Years of experience (and the skills to back it up) combined with sheer instinct drove him to know exactly what to do and when to do it. Though outraged by the blonde's superior strength, Tobi somehow knew better than to defy him under these conditions. From his position beneath Deidara, he pulled off his long-sleeved nightshirt and cast it aside. He reached down to slip off his sweatpants, but Deidara's body blocked him from doing so. Said blonde pinned his arms above his head abruptly, receiving a condescending glare in response. Deidara, as Tobi now could see, was already stark naked. And this had all happened in the span of, what, thirty seconds? He wore a manic smirk as he gazed down at Tobi, reveling in the fact that not only was he for once the seme, but also that he'd overtaken someone of Tobi's stature. Tobi was simply a bit peeved at his current predicament, topped by the undoubtedly sadistic younger-and undeniably smaller-man, as he was. He dared not voice his complaints.

Meanwhile, Deidara focused his attention on undressing his partner, tugging at the hem of his pants and tossing them blindly to the floor. Tobi momentarily mused that as a result of this, he'd be cold when he tried to get dressed in the morning. Deidara's further actions prevented him from pursuing this thought as he nipped sharply at the Uchiha's earlobe. He cringed, much to the blonde's pleasure. Apparently, the blonde was frisky tonight. Tobi growled yanking him down by a handful of his golden locks and jammed the other's lips unto his own. He was rewarded with the blonde's pricelessly comical expression, one of rage and frustration at his own blunder. He had been too caught up in his own activities to keep his so-called "uke" under control. He refused to be had, and took the chance to deepen the kiss, regardless of his partner's consent. He needn't force his way into his mouth however, for he was practically invited inside. But regardless of this, Tobi's tongue was faster as it roamed his mouth. This time, Deidara did not resist. He'd get him in the end. He shoved the raven-haired man's shoulders down, pressing him into the bed once more.

It soon became apparent that Tobi had an affinity for hair, for he constantly ensnared his fingers in the blonde's silky tresses. All the while, said blonde bit and sucked at his neck, his chest, and his stomach, not quite getting as far down as he'd have liked before Tobi forced his head back in pleasure. Whatever he was doing, it felt good. Deidara's lower body trembled in ecstasy. Sasori had never been able to get this reaction from him before; perhaps Tobi was worth more in this field than he had suspected. The Uchiha's hand's now massaged his abdomen, hitting sensitive spots that could not be ignored. Deidara shuddered, enjoyed it despite the knowledge that he was losing control. He sought to regain it, but was no longer sure if he really desired to do so. The way things were going, perhaps being uke at the hand of someone of this caliber wasn't a bad idea. He was losing the edge he'd had at the beginning, and had gotten far more than he'd bargained for, but was his pride really going to let him submit to Tobi? Tobi didn't give him the chance to decide. Sensing his momentary detachment, he overtook him again. He had no intentions of going under again. Now, he was prepared to seal the deal. Deidara did not refuse him.

What happened next came surprisingly easily. It was not difficult for them to make contact, and Tobi entered him on the first try. Deidara's body convulsed reflexively, and he let out a gasp. The raven-haired nin began moving lightly, getting the feel for his actions. Deidara's abdomen muscles tightened and his breath hitched. He knew that Tobi was only having fun at his expense. He was used to it by now-or at least he should have been-as a result of Sasori's games. Then Tobi began thrusting. One would have thought him to be too gentle, too naïve to be good at such a thing, but if truth be told, he had dropped that childish façade long ago. Here, he would not compromise efficiency, and therefore did not start off gently, but at a steady pace, one that Deidara was very familiar with. All the same, his body trembled with each movement, and his breath came in shorter catches. Tobi did not relent. Tobi was not one to wait, and in being impatient, it did not take him long to take things up a notch. His movements became quicker, faster, and more pronounced. Deidara found himself squirming in rapture at the sensations that resulted. Moaning and panting ensued as Tobi found his "spot", and had continued to pleasure that area in particular. This time, he hit it hard, no longer pacing himself in the process. Deidara arched into him convulsively, no longer retaining the ability to resist. And then, they both climaxed, a shout and a moan mixing shattering the silence of the cold night. Panting heavily, the Uchiha pulled out of him, flopping exhaustedly onto his side and trying to steady his heartbeat.

"You see? I told you—that sex—w-warms you up," He gasped in between words.  
"I wonder why," replied Deidara sarcastically, equally exhausted from the night's events.

Indeed, it had served to warm them both up, but it had also exhausted Deidara to the point where he finally managed to fall asleep. As he drifted off to sleep beside his raven-haired partner, his last thoughts were that somehow, he didn't mind having Tobi in his bed nearly as much as he'd thought he would.


End file.
